Being a mother is something I have waited and prayed for since I was a young girl mothering dolls. After 4 years of infertility, tests and procedures that failed 100% of the time, we were blessed with a miracle. I have become passionate about helping others through the struggle of infertility and have started a non-profit organization in order to reach out to people across the country.

It has been a process of sorts to be open enough to talk about this part of me, but it is now something that I choose to embrace and appreciate, as I have learned more and more about myself and my purpose.

I hope this blog can be a place where you can find strength and support through others who know the struggle. Please feel free to contact me with questions, advice, or any and all venting. I know that with the help of each other, we can overcome this struggle...or at least handle it in a way that will leave us better for it.

Welcome to my blog - My Journey To Fertility.

Monday, May 17, 2010

What Would I Give...

Whenever I have the thought of IVF potentially being my only option, a small feeling of despair follows close behind.

'When will I ever have the money to afford that medical miracle?...How will I ever save that much?...Will I really be waiting 2, 3, 4 more years to save up that much money?...What should I do in the meantime?...'

If my husband would agree,
I would live in a hole.
I would go without a car, TV, phones, and (heaven forbid) the internet.
I would never decorate my house
or buy nice clothes.
I'd skip out on "fun" (the money kind)
I would let my hair grow long and split.
I'm willing in order to save for IVF and bring them here...
Am I supposed to?

There are so many options and directions I can go to continue to "try" to get my babies here. I feel so confused sometimes.

Medical
Homeopathic - my current "try"
Chiropractic
Massage

I got an email today from a kind stranger who is going to send me more info on yet another option for treating infertility. Thank you Nidia.

What am I to do??? Any thoughts?
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4 comments:

  1. ChelseaMay 18, 2010 at 8:23 AM

    Ah, Jill, I am sorry. Not knowing, or feeling confused about what to do is the worst. I will continue to pray for you, and for you to feel guided in what path you should take. My heart breaks for you when I read this. I don't want you to have to wait any longer.

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  2. Sarah OmanJune 2, 2010 at 9:05 PM

    Totally know that feeling! I'm about to try acupuncture. I guess we just have to try everything.

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  3. CourtneyJanuary 10, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    My mother sent the article from Desert News. I live in Nebraska and have been dealing with infertility for 2.5 years. I decided to start reading your blog from the beginning, hence my comment being on such an old post. I know as we pay for our fertility treatments, people constantly say... "you can't worry about the money." I say to this... not true. Anyone who has paid large amounts for treatments for what seems to be a "good desire" knows how stressful money can be. We are currently debating how to pay for our treatment. Thanks for sharing this blog.

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  4. HillaryJanuary 11, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    I am also reading your blog from the beginning! We have been dealing with infertility for 3+ years now and after seeing an article about you found out about your blog. I appreciate everything I have read so far- so much!! It is so amazing to not feel alone in this. I also had to learn to not keep it to myself and to talk about it with others. This last year has been such a change with me as I talk with others and grow closer to my heavenly father. Thank you for the blog and the inspiring words and I can't wait to keep reading more.

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