Nightstand

I keep whatever my current fertility treatment on my nightstand. It's a safe and private place and I don't forget about it there. This was my nightstand a few months ago. You can read more about where my head was at that point here.


These days it's definately simplified, not as cluttered. I'm doing 2 different drops under my tongue 2-3 times a day. I take a prenatal suppliment and pain meds only when necessary and that's about it. It's been easy. I feel more natural, which is exactly what I was wanting. Starting this week, something new will be joining the nightstand.


My homeopathic doctor told me about research showing that a low-dose aspirin regimen can increase blood supply to the ovaries and uterus. If this is true, the ovaries and uterus would then receive more substantial dosages of hormones, improving ovary productivity and thickening of the lining of the uterus. (bingo!)

With Endometriosis, even if an egg is fertilized, if my lining isn't thick enough (which is almost always), it is good for nothing. I'm hoping this will present an egg with a comfortable home for...9 months?

Also, according to a study published in Fertility and Sterility (operated by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine), "Low dose aspirin treatment significantly improves ovarian response, uterine and ovarian blood flow velocity, implantation rate and pregnancy rate in patients undergoing IVF. Aspirin seems to be a useful, effective and safe treatment in patients who undergo assisted reproductive technologies."

If IVF calls for this step as a precaution to help avoid miscarriage, it makes sense to me to incoorporate it into my "assisted reproductive" process right now. It's safe and not invasive, which is right where I want to be at this point.

Obviously there are some reasons why you shouldn't take aspirin regularly ie. ulcers, allergies, etc, so ask your doctor. Maybe it's something you could incoorporate into your process. Hope everyone is having a good (SHORT) week!

Grandma Witt

Sandra Black Witt passed away peacefully July 10, 2010.

My kids will never know Grandma Witt here.
It's comforting to know that they are with her now.
Maybe she will tell them to hurry.

I wonder what she is sharing with them...
About life, about Allen and I and how anxious we are.
Will she teach and help prepare them for their life here with us?

She is very aware of Allen and I and our desire to have children.
She prayed for us.
She loves us.

I know she will be there with us and just as excited when the day comes to welcome our children.
What a special thing to know.
She has a strong spirit that lives on.
She will continue to be a part of our lives...watching over us and helping us along our way.

I feel a very strong need to teach my children about their Grandma Witt.
They will know about her.
Maybe it will help them remember...

Thank you Sandra.
Thank you for loving us.
Thank you for raising such a wonderful man to be my husband and the father of my children.

One of the last few things she said to Allen:
"I want to see Jill with a baby more than anything..."
Allen then asked her for a favor.
"Will you tell our kids to hurry down here?"
"Yes, I will tell them to get on the ball."

They better mind grandma.

We love you mom!

Adoption

I need to say before I start this post that my feelings about my specific situation expressed on this blog in no way is meant to hurt or offend. This is the place where I write how I feel and hope that someone out there may feel similarly or is able to relate in some way.

I have been told by multiple people (associates) that adoption is the next choice for me to make. It seems insensitive. Not only is it not their place to advise in this situation, but most of the time these people don't know specifics on my journey to fertility. "If you can't, you'll just have to adopt." "Maybe your kids are already here just through someone else." "Just start looking into it. You never know." I know that these statements aren't said maliciously, but for some reason it stings.

I believe adoption is a beautiful thing. I believe a bond can be formed when adoption feels right for a couple/family. However, the thought that I will never have children that are a little of me and Allen is something I haven't even started to deal with. I've choosen not to think of it right now, so when someone brings it up specific to me, I'm caught off guard and I second guess everything I've already felt and learned. I feel insecure with my whole process....because it is a process, as is choosing to adopt. It's not the same for everyone.

I don't think I'm near that place I would need to be in order to choose adoption. I don't know if I'll ever get there. It may be selfish, but I yearn to be pregnant, not just have and raise a baby. I can't wait to see parts of our personalities come from a little Allen and compare baby pictures of family members. I want our parents to be able to say, "You did that when you were little..." It all may seem silly, but that's where I'm at.

I just want to throw it out there that advising adoption to a woman/couple who is working for fertility is not always the most sensitive. It doesn't bother me when people ask me how I feel about adoption, but I don't like being told to choose that course right now. I am amazed at the miracle of adoption in the life of many women in my life. It was a wonderful choice for them and their family. There are children out there who need a good home and adoption is a special and important opportunity. Adoption creates happy and good loving families.

I just feel insecure and a little scared about it at this point...for me.

Open to thoughts and inspiration.

Love, Me