It was two years ago. I was going in for surgery. For the second time, the doc was going to "scrape out" my endometriosis. This time he was going to clean out my tubes as well. It's not a fun surgery.
I remember when they were prepping me before the surgery. Allen had to turn his back for the IV. Sensitive guy. I remember he whispered something to me before I went in. I'll never forget it. "Thank you for doing this to bring our children here. I love you." That was why I was doing it. I'm so glad he recognized it. I could handle the pain. I could handle the exorbant amount of blood I'd loose each month. It was only to bring our children. Nothing more.
It was rough, as usual. They also took my appendix.
Dreaded recovery. While I waited for my body to painfully absorb the air they had pumped into me and for my swollen empty belly to shrink, I remember someone telling me a heartbreaking conversation they had overheard.
I had missed a family reunion that year because of my surgery. A young girl asked where I was. Another child, 10 year old Nathan responded, "Jill can't have babies, so she had an operation." Heartbreaking for so many reasons...
Obviously his parents had been talking about me. They barely knew me. They didn't know the issues we were dealing with. They were clueless to my problem and desires, and didn't appreciate their own extreme fertility or consider it miraculous.
My heart broke. And so did Allen's.
"You'll probably get pregnant within the next 6 months," said Dr Young. That was 2 years ago...
Heart breaking all over again...
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I'm glad you have this blog Jill to express all that you are going through. Thank you for sharing and yes, it's heartbreaking...praying for you!
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