Gratitude

I have learned that gratitude can make any situation better. It is a habit that can be cultivated, and an attitude that should be adopted...especially in me. I believe that as we strive for more gratitude in life, in every experience, we will be more able to see the silver lining. There is good in all things. There is much to be learned and appreciated through this and all other life processes and struggles. May we all continue to look for these things, even beyond this short but important holiday of Thanksgiving. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and are enjoying the season. It's magical to me.
i will post about the run soon. stay tuned

Daily Herald

Pound the Pavement for Parenthood 5k made the paper! Thanks Lib. Here's a link if you are interested. It was exciting to see even though it's not entirely accurate. I didn't say the things she said I did (Marv should get the credit). Also, not a fantastic picture. Misrepresentation for sure. Marv looks... ?? And I rolled out of bed that morning (who expects a reporter to show up at your yard sale?) and hid behind Marv which only made me look like a timid little wife... if you know me, you know that is not true. It's a very nice article nevertheless. The 5k was wonderful. It was a special day for me. I'll tell you more about it soon, and I'll include some photos. It could not have been more perfect.

Strangest

Strange...when I recently started my favorite time of the month in all my monthly endo glory, I was nothing but relieved. One reason being, I was 6 days late. I'm sure stress from all this fundraising chaos threw me right off my regular 29 day cycle and I'm just anxious to try to regulate my body again.

I'm sorry body. I'll try to treat you better to include regular eating and sleeping in that treatment plan. Ok. Forgive me?
Even though that time is never glamorous or enjoyable, it felt freeing to know that the emotional crash that has accompanied my period for years wasn't going to come this time, let alone consume me for days at a time. I knew pregnancy wasn't going to happen right now. I know the next step for us in order to help it happen.

Stranger then...that today I'm having a hard (what I call) "baby day." Out of the blue it has hit me again, all those emotions of lonely wanting. It's found me as usual when I least expect it. It's hard to understand why.

Afterall, I have so many good things going on right now.

1. We just had a killer yard sale that left all involved with planning and carrying out satisfied and thankful. Even the Daily Herald showed up to support us! (and took a picture of me and Marv which was perfect because I rolled out of bed just so in order for Utah County to see me in my natural state - awesome. Except it really was, albeit unexpected).

2.We have the first Pound the Pavement for Parenthood 5k this weekend and we're hopeful for a good turnout and we know that it will be a fun day regardless. Please join us, won't you?

I'm surprised at what I'm feeling today. I thought this lonely part was supposed to be over now that we have a plan. As we work toward this new medical (financial) goal, I thought it would only bring confidence. Now I know. I'm sure I was just naive to think I was rid of those feelings. It's only just begun as they say, the feeling of unknown. The build up of hope will be insane with this procedure. I don't want to think about it anymore...

3 more days until the 5k run/walk! Today is the last day to pre-register! I can't believe it's finally here. I couldn't be more anxious, nervous, excited, and relieved. I really hope to see all of you there!

Please come support this cause. It means a lot to me...and to you. You're reading this aren't you?

Good November

For me, November brings with it clarity. After the candy rush from Halloween leaves my system, it seems I'm able to focus on important things. I have much to be thankful for. Especially right now in my life and current life-happening, it's clear and right here for me to see how blessed I really am.

Mostly, the people in my life are the huge realized current blessing. What would I do without these people? That question has left me stumped many times over the last 18 days. I have two friends who have stepped up...I mean, stepped up big time! Thank you to those two friends again and again. ("love you, bye!")

When faced with life challenges like this, you do indeed see who your real and true friends are, as well as the character of those with whom you associate with. Believe it or not, insensitivity has reered it's ugly face in bigger ways than the usual, which wasn't suprising but always disappointing. It's been...enlightening to say the least.

It is a very strange and difficult thing for me to ask for help. Asking for help suggests my inability to take care of it myself, a feeling I'm uncomfortable with. Beyond that, opening up and letting the world know and asking it to be a part of this very personal part of me is more than vulnerable...it's a raw, exposed feeling. It's uncomfortable. I'm living with this new uneasy feeling and with it has come some amazing experiences as people show genuine concern and generosity towards me and Marv. It's been a special thing to witness. It's overwhelming. It's changed me.

Today I'm just so thankful for people, the good people who have shown their true colors in amazing ways. The world really is full of people with heart. I'm thankful to be able to glimpse into that rare and necessary part of the heart and soul of humankind.