Being a mother is something I have waited and prayed for since I was a young girl mothering dolls. After 4 years of infertility, tests and procedures that failed 100% of the time, we were blessed with a miracle. I have become passionate about helping others through the struggle of infertility and have started a non-profit organization in order to reach out to people across the country.

It has been a process of sorts to be open enough to talk about this part of me, but it is now something that I choose to embrace and appreciate, as I have learned more and more about myself and my purpose.

I hope this blog can be a place where you can find strength and support through others who know the struggle. Please feel free to contact me with questions, advice, or any and all venting. I know that with the help of each other, we can overcome this struggle...or at least handle it in a way that will leave us better for it.

Welcome to my blog - My Journey To Fertility.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Holidays

'Are they harder for you?'

I was asked that question recently so of course, I started thinking. Here's my answer. No.

The holidays make me reflect on life's experiences, as well as be so thankful for the good family and friends that I have. It's fun for me to be able to play with neices and nephews and experience a little of Christmas through their eyes. How exciting is this time of year for children?! So many people around to play with, treats to eat, presents to open, toys to play with, traditions, stories, games, laughing, staying up late...does it get better?!

It really is the most wonderful time of the year. During all of these festivities, do I think of my reality of not having children yet? Yes! But, instead of going to that sad place, I start to dream...

What will Santa be like at our house? What kind of fun family traditions will we do in our family? How will we always keep Christ as the center?
I know it can be difficult, and it is so easy to go down that slippery slope of despair and 'why', but this has helped me. For now, the holidays will stay a time of dreaming. You should try it. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Looking forward to New Years!

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6 comments:

  1. AmyDecember 30, 2010 at 9:12 AM

    Glad you decided to keep blogging! I'm also happy you had a great Christmas!

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  2. ChelseaJanuary 3, 2011 at 7:37 AM

    You have always had the best attitude and outlook and continue to inspire me. I'm so glad you were able to have a Merry Christmas and I hope now that the holidays are over we can get together.

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  3. CourtneyJanuary 10, 2011 at 7:10 PM

    Holidays are extremely hard for me. This last year my husband and I did a mini trip all to ourselves and then did the family thing and it worked out perfectly for us! You have such a positive attitude about things, I hope I can be more positive

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  4. TexasTwinsTwiceJanuary 11, 2011 at 10:35 AM

    I just read your article on Mormon Times, and I just want to tell you to hang in there!!! I know what you are going through, because I was there myself at one point. I have endo (yuck), and never did conceive, but am the adoptive mother of 2 sets of twins and I WOULD.NOT.CHANGE.A.SINGLE.THING about that now if I could. Infertility has turned out to be a HUGE blessing for me because it showed me the hand of God in my life, and I know without a doubt that he loves me and is aware of me. The MIRACULOUS way he sent me my children is proof of that. SO, I just want to encourage you to hang in there...this will be but for a small moment in the eternal realm of things...but I KNOW how hard it is for you now. I waited 7 years to become a mom, but now in hindsight it was all very worth it. Happy 2011!! and good luck w' the fertility stuff (I never felt inspired to do Invitro, though in my heart I think it would work!)

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  5. JillJanuary 12, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    Thanks Amy!

    Chels, love you.

    Courtney "aka crazy Nebraska girl," I think that mini trip by yourselves is a fantastic idea! We did that for Thanksgiving this year. So perfect. Trust me, I don't always have a postive attitude. Hence, my goal to try to be more so. It's tough sometimes.

    TexasTwins: I totally agree. In so many ways I recognize this as a blessing. I've learned about me, my husband, and my relationship with a loving God. In many ways, this experience is priceless. Still sucks though. ;)

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  6. LisaJanuary 17, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    Hope is our family motto! I even found a sweatshirt at Old Navy that had HOPE down the sleeve so I bought it, lol. Then, we adopted an adult dog who's name is HOPE! How ironic. Keep up the positive thoughts and i LOVE TexasTwins' thoughts :)

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