Worthy?

Somedays I wonder.
I wonder if I'm good enough; worthy enough to be blessed with a child.
I don't know if I am, or if I ever will be.
It's not a poor me feeling.
I don't have this thought only on my down days.
I just wonder.
It's amazing to me when I look at a baby and think about how it's possible that any of us are blessed with this responsibility;
to teach them how to be.
The Lord trusts us to raise them.
The child trusts us to teach.
Do I trust ME??
Humbling.

I wonder...

I don't know if I'll be a good mom.
I don't know when I'll even be blessed with the opportunity.
All I know is that I will work on myself, and try to become my best self.
I will pray.
I will work.
I will DO whatever it takes to try to become more worthy.

As an update, this current regimen I'm doing is going well. I feel good, although I still haven't lost the extra weight I gained with the meds I was taking before I went the homeopathic route. Oh well. The only side effects I've had with these drops is pain and growing (rapid, painful, annoying growing) in... certain areas. I hope my prolactin level is still under control.

That is all I'll say. I'm sure you wanted to know. ;)