Being a mother is something I have waited and prayed for since I was a young girl mothering dolls. After 4 years of infertility, tests and procedures that failed 100% of the time, we were blessed with a miracle. I have become passionate about helping others through the struggle of infertility and have started a non-profit organization in order to reach out to people across the country.

It has been a process of sorts to be open enough to talk about this part of me, but it is now something that I choose to embrace and appreciate, as I have learned more and more about myself and my purpose.

I hope this blog can be a place where you can find strength and support through others who know the struggle. Please feel free to contact me with questions, advice, or any and all venting. I know that with the help of each other, we can overcome this struggle...or at least handle it in a way that will leave us better for it.

Welcome to my blog - My Journey To Fertility.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Didn't Make It

Today I experienced something I never had before.
Today I didn't make it to the bathroom in time.
(not for any reason you may be thinking).
Today some of my co-workers saw me breakdown...
an incredibly vulnerable state for the workplace.
It's been horrible today, and it was the first time I couldn't control myself.

I work at Alpine Pediatrics. Pediatrics. That means I'm surrounded by children. all.day.long. I see and work with newborns everyday. I see how some kids are treated, both good and terrible. Quite often at work, I've found myself in the bathroom. It's the only place I can go when it's just too much.

I cry.
I control.
I carry on.
(usually)
But today...I didn't make it.
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3 comments:

  1. ChelseaSeptember 30, 2010 at 1:27 PM

    Ahh, Jill, I am sorry. That is so hard. I am so excited to see you and talk about everything on Saturday. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AndreaSeptember 30, 2010 at 4:40 PM

    Jill:
    I'm so sorry!!! LOVE YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  3. CourtneyJanuary 10, 2011 at 6:48 PM

    I work at a daycare. Was with infants for three years, now I am with toddlers. I love my job and I can't imagine not working with children, but some days I come home and cry with the desire to care for my own children instant of others. That is when I fall to my knees and pray for strength through this trial.

    ReplyDelete

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