Being a mother is something I have waited and prayed for since I was a young girl mothering dolls. After 4 years of infertility, tests and procedures that failed 100% of the time, we were blessed with a miracle. I have become passionate about helping others through the struggle of infertility and have started a non-profit organization in order to reach out to people across the country.

It has been a process of sorts to be open enough to talk about this part of me, but it is now something that I choose to embrace and appreciate, as I have learned more and more about myself and my purpose.

I hope this blog can be a place where you can find strength and support through others who know the struggle. Please feel free to contact me with questions, advice, or any and all venting. I know that with the help of each other, we can overcome this struggle...or at least handle it in a way that will leave us better for it.

Welcome to my blog - My Journey To Fertility.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Ideal Family

This interview has had me thinking. Luckily I wasn't stumped by the questions I was asked, but it was impossible to prepare any response. I was mostly focused on making clear that this is my feeling and experience so not to offend others. The majority of my answers were lessons learned throughout this journey.

One question she asked was, "How has your view or idea of 'family' changed? Or has it?" Good question right? Luckily, that too was a recent lesson/discovery.

For the last couple of years, I have been 'preparing' for the ideal of my family. I have been trying to prepare financially, emotionally, and physically for our children. (Yes, I even painted my "nursery." You can call me crazy if you wish). I guess I had it in my mind that the sort of family I was wishing or hoping for hasn't been granted yet. I thought that our children were what would make family.

About a month ago, I realized my family...and I appologized to Allen. He is it! Sounds like a juvenile realization, right? You learn as a child that there are diffent sizes and types of family. My mind always taught me that my type would be one with kids. I know now that it is just as important if not more to nurture my present family and keep us strong and happy. It's been a goal of mine since.

I don't want to look back in a few years from now (or whenever our family grows) and regret not making the most of our little family and the time Allen and I have together. I can learn alot from him and I know we are stronger together, so why not focus on that right now?

I have been. And it's delightful.

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